Monday, May 14, 2007
MOVING ON...
NOTHING LASTS FOREVER... NOT EVEN YOU.
For a change i decided to rant this time... I mean after all it is my blog so... I can dish out all i want yeah... Life has been pretty weird lately... I mean I am just so used to him being around that now its just feels weird... But about the love I don't know whether or not its there. I am just sick of it... Like the fights and the lack of communication... Just sick of always being blamed for everything when the true fact is... The only thing i do is try to make things work...
We are taking time off each other but I am not sure if I would want it back...
All of it...
The fights, the tears, those stupid things he says when he is so called angry...
I HATE THAT EXCUSE!!!!!!!!!
"WHEN I AM ANGRY I DON'T THINK OF WHAT I AM SAYING!"
Thats like the worst excuse to give after breaking some ones heart!!!
AAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
He says i don't treat him like an adult... he doesn't even act like one half the time... And if he wants the world to take him seriously, he has to start taking himself seriously first....
We were so young when we got together... I was only 17... And the mindset has changed some how.... I need more than just a pretty face with broad shoulders... I need a man whom I'd feel secure with... Someone whom I can sit up for hours and hours and have a laughing good time with... Some one who has dreams, ambitions... Someone who would not only be a boyfriend but also a best friend whom i can turn to... get what i mean...
I don't understand why its so hard to pick up the phone for 5 mins to call...
HE NEVER CALLS!!!
I mean yeah... I can do the calling but it would be nice if he would call once in a while... Just to show that he thinks about me... But he doesn't!!!! And he thinks i expect too much from him cause I always end up asking him why he didn't call!!!??!?!!?!?!
Like hello.... I am the most cheapskate girlfriend anyone can have!!! I am not materialistic... Branded stuff, I just don't like them... Yes... when we go for movies and shit he'd pay... but even he knows that when he was broke as hell and I had money, I spent it... It wasn't a problem for me... But he makes money a big issue all the time!!!
I KNOW HE IS GONNA READ THIS AND I DON'T CARE!!! AT LEAST MAYBE NOW HE'D ACTUALLY FEEL IT!!!
Is it so hard for men to show an ounce of emotions?? And how is it possible that you guys never know what to do?? So what would happen if you guys ended up with some dumb chick who is useless in very way?? Then what?? Come on la... all the, " I DON'T KNOW LA"s are just another form of an excuse for being jack ass lazy... I am not saying all guys are like this but there are alot of them who have retarded brain cells...
I AM SICK AND I AM TIRED!
I AM JUST SICK SICK SICK SICK AND SICK!!!
For 27 months I have slogged time and time again... I have forgiven your rubbish and i have absorbed everything ounce of shit you threw at me... And you took it all for granted... You must have thought I am some dumb fuck who would never leave you... I never thought I would feel this way about you... I am fed up... And even now, when your everything is at stake you refuse to do something about it... You claim you Love me alot... you say it all the time... Even now that I am moving away from you... You refuse to get up off that sofa and get off watching TV to try to fix this... Maybe you are just too used to me doing everything that right now you'd say,
" I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"
WELL TODAY IS THE 14TH OF MAY, WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY 27TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY...
Don't just go around spraying I Love Yous like they mean nothing... If you people wanna say it, please mean what you say and show it...
I have said "I love you" so many times to previous bfs without meaning it... I didn't even know what love was... With him it was different... But its such a disappointment to know that he is just like everybody else.
Well... I'll try to post the mothers day pics and my works up soon...
till then...
xoxo.
Posted by tornredqueen at 12:12 AM
