Tuesday, May 1, 2007

PLASTIC SURGERY!

PLASTIC SURGERY... THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE RETARDED!

I have been dreaming for the past 30932091 years of getting A BOOB JOB and A MAJOR LIPOSUCTION! Ya i know all you haters will be like, "OH my GOD! you are like so fat and soo fatt and soooo fattttt!!!"!

NEWS FLASH!!! I KNOW I AM! Thanks for reminding me... Well yeah... Right now i am suffering from what I'd call a NO BOOB syndrome! See what happened is... my grandma is Chinese. Need i say more.... NO OFFENCE TO CHINESE PEOPLE! I LOVE YOU GUYS but hey you kinda know your assets are kinda small! So yeah! Some more for a huge body mass like mine... i need BIG DING DONGS!

But you know how people say, "AIYO! Plastic Surgery ah! eh permanent you know?!"

OR

"Please la! I think you look fine lor! Don't be stupid! Just loose weight can liao!"

OR

" Ya la! I also have been wanting to get! Expensive right... i heard Thailand is cheap!"

BLEAH!

I haven decided anything yet but all i know is i wanna loose 408908 kg and get bigger rounder BOOBS! But no money la... ANYHOOOO.... my baby seems to be fine with them... *winks*

NOW FOR PLASTIC SURGERIES! THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE RETARDED!



TORI SPELLING!



Notice the before picture... slightly pale... negative A cup boobs and relatively thin lips... And not forgetting the retarded hair!!! I mean the 80's where freaky when it came to fashion! Now lets check out The after picture.... BOOBS are definitely bigger... The fake tan! Lips are a little thicker, juicer... and a very BIG improvement with the hair i must say! Well this transformation isn't that bad what right! I mean bigger boobs and sexier lips are fine!



HALLE BERRY!




CHECK OUT HALLE'S NOSE!!! I mean HELLO! Serious nose issues! I mean her nose looks like a train hit her in her face twice, Mohammad Ali decided to punch her another three times and Godzilla slammed her right on her nose! Well Over exaggerated la... but you get the picture... I mean we all know Halle as our HOT Catwoman... But if she still had that nose, she'd have played Catwomans Grandma... Halle definitely had a Good NOSE JOB! Oh and lets not forget the bushes she had as eyebrows and the massive eye bags... yeah HALLE LOOKS A HELL ALOT BETTER NOW!



ADRIANNE CURRY!




YES! She is the Winner of the very first America's Next Top Model! The before Pic... Slightly Tan... Very natural looking skin... Looks kinda old though... Boobs are there but not really visible... How a models body is supposed to look basically... The after... Slightly paler... Boobs are definitely BIGGER!! HELLO CLEAVAGE! Notice not many wrinkles on her face... BOTOX perhaps... Looks younger though... But hey! She is supposed to be America's Next Top MODEL for crying out loud not America's Next Top Stripper!



ASHLEE SIMPSON




"Hello everyone! I am Ashlee! and if you guys are wondering... No i didn't have plastic surgery! I swear i didn't!" Come on... i mean the world knows she had plastic surgery and till now Miss Ashlee is persistent in saying that she didn't! Well yeah ok Ashlee... Now the before... notice the long witchy looking nose..... with the dent at the end! Yeah... Now the after... her nose has been pinched and has been lifted 45 degrees upwards! HELLO!!! Imagine this........

Ashlee : Doctor i want to get a nose job!
Doctor (blind) : Sure Ashlee... What would you like me to change about your nose?
Ashlee : Well i never liked my nose and it makes me sad every time i look at it!
(Ashlee starts crying like on those Extreme Makeover shows!)
Doctor (blind) : Now there there... don't cry! I 'll fix you up and you will look AMAZING!
Ashlee : REALLY!!! In that case (turns bimbotic) I want you to pinch my nose till i can't breathe and tilt it 45 degrees upwards so that when the paparazzi gets shots of me they'll capture my nose hair!
Doctor (blind) : Nose hair?
Ashlee : Yes! Nose hair! I want the whole world to look into my nostrils...

WHY WOULD ANYONE TILT THEIR NOSE UPWARDS!!! I MEAN I KNOW IF YOU HAVE AN UGLY NOSE... MINES 45 DEGREES TO THE RIGHT... BUT EVEN I WOULD TILT IT UPWARDS EVEN IF ITS FOR FREE!!!!



JESSICA SIMPSON




Now lets look at the other Simpson! The before... normal Ang Moh Skin... Natural looking hair... With a great smile... And the now.... The fake TAN!!!! She must have painted herself orange before taking this pic! The hair... a little extensions here and there which is fine! Cos i was thinking of getting extensions too! BLEAH! and now her smile..... NOTICE she can't really smile.... Looks like Jessica Must be spending her DIVORCE MONEY on one to many 'BOTOX' INJECTIONS!



FERGIE!




FERGALICIOUS!!! RRRRR.... WELL.... Fergie... from Blondie sweet Barbie doll to Hot VOLUPTUOUS Bratz Doll! Stating the obvious! Fergie had a boob job and 65 tanning sessions.. that's all... I mean she can afford it so what the hell!!! I think she looks good before and after!



PAMELA BOOBERSON!


PAMELA.... woke up one morning and suddenly decided, " I WANNA HAVE COWS UDDERS AS BOOBS TODAY! YES THATS EXACTLY WHAT I AM GONNA DO!"... SO she gets three surgeries done on the breasts! THREE!!!!

Pamela (the milker) : THE COW UDDERS DIDN'T TURN OUT WELL... HMMM LETS GO WITH BOWLING BALLS!
Doctor (retarded) : YES! BOWLING BALLS IT IS!
Pamela (the milker) : Doctor I am not happy with the bowling balls! Its getting kinda hard to run around during the shoots for Bay Watch... And last night i accidentally smashed my baby while breast feeding it...
Doctor (retarded) : Sure thing Pamela! How about water melons? They are bigger and a hell a lot lighter?!
Pamela (the milker) : Oh really! That sound great! Slice me open again! Water melons it is!!!

Yup the insanely rich! Talking about the insanely rich....


MICHEAL (retard) JACKSON!


WELL NO OFFENCE TO MJ'S FANS BUT HEY YOUR KING OF POP HAS ISSUES... PICTURES DON'T LIE....

OMG!!! i wonder if his nose ever fell out! I think he looked fine and dandy when he was younger! Now he doesn't even look human! I kinda think he looks dead... You know those pretty white corpses with alot of make up lying in their coffins... Don't you think so.... I just wonder if his dick is still black? Yeah... and whats with the lipstick.... er.... yeah........... i am gonna leave you with Micheal dumbo's picture la... i really donno what to say!!! His plastic surgent must have hated him la...

Surgent : Micheal we are all done you SON OF A BITCH i mean king of Pop!
Micheal : Huh? Er... how do i look... do i look more white?!
Surgent : Yes yes... you look like a FUCKING MORON... er i mean... you look like Elvis Presley!
Micheal : Wow! He is my idol! THANK YOU! How about my nose? Do you think young boys will like it?
Surgent : Huh? Yeah yeah sure... every one won't BE ABLE TO SEE IT ANYMORE!!!!! i mean they will love it!

Yup... well what can i say.... Shit happens la.... but i still want a boob job and lipo!

Posted by tornredqueen at 12:37 PM